Jun. 9th, 2010 05:56 am
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[personal profile] ysonesse

(First posted on Runaway Tales:  Pickle #7, Eggnog #9, Malt: 12 Days of Christmas)

December 21, 2011:

 “Cookie karma?”

 “Sure.” Imagine your paternal unit holding two bowls of watery gingerbread cookie dough, and three bowls of sugar cookie dough (also watery) settled on the counter. Our first attempt at making Christmas treats has now ended in disaster. One saving grace is the sticky buns puffing up nicely in the oven. But we planned on a full dessert spread, and twelve little buns won’t satisfy the Randolph and Palmer clans!

 So your non-cooking parents decided to venture into uncharted territory: making desserts. Yeah, more than one dessert for the respective Christmas gatherings on Sunday. And that’s where your father’s idea of “Cookie Karma” arrives into this narrative. His theory: “We started out with lack of knowledge and the best of intentions. We got darned ambitious−”

 “Are we really that bad?”

 “Yeah, because we decided to go up against forces more powerful than our skills can handle…” Your father dropped the soggy dough goop into the sink. “Well-intentioned amateurs try making cookies in batches−”

 “You think mushy dough is punishment for us making cookies?” We decided to be a couple of domestic types, actually using our kitchen for its designed purpose, but we suck at cooking, so the dessert venture was doomed to a watery outcome? What about our collaboration on the sticky buns? Your dad had a convenient explanation for that part: “The baking gods aren’t cruel, not if you have good intentions. We got stupid, right? Yakking away like we freebased Red Bull instead of paying attention while filling up the bowls…” he shrugged “…running back and forth watching Charlie Brown instead of staying here focused on the undertaking…”

 “I thought the Dessert Gods weren’t totally condemning us?”

 “Those are looking great.” He bent down and looked into the oven, just to make sure the Dessert Gods hadn’t changed their minds and turned the sticky buns into pillars of salt. “So we got a reprieve, and we get to bring one dessert for Christmas Day.”

 “That doesn’t seem fair.”

 “It’s a sliver of mercy. Those buns could be on fire right now.”